Judging by a comment on Loveawake dating site blog about “Why Speed Seduction Sucks”, it looks like I need to put up a follow up post to fill in a few details that might answer some of your questions. Here is my take on social game outside of kissing the bar staffs ass, throwing parties, and buying expensive V.I.P. and bottle service. Another product of never before seen game brought to you by Loveawake:

Where To Go?

Earlier, I mentioned that you need to find a social group/activity that interests you and meets up on a recurring basis. Where do you find these? Your college directory, word of mouth (ask around), and sometimes you’ll find postings in your local newspapers (go for the neighborhood specific ones and not your major city newspaper).

A few bars have a few things going on like Volleyball leagues as well. Intramurals are probably the easiest to find. You also might want to try searching on Facebook/Myspace for local groups that actually meet up. And at the very least, take a class that interests you.

What Kind Of Group?

You want to join a group that encourages interaction. A group that watches films together? Not good. Math where the teacher talks 100% of the time? Not good. A class with labs and lots of group work? Good. Basically any kind of physical activity? Good. You get the idea. Just stay away from groups where there isn’t time for a lot of interaction between the people attending.

Now, as far as group size goes, try not to take part in anything that has more than 30 people (excluding intramurals where things are broken down into teams). Why? Because I’ve come to notice that any more than 30 people in a class, then people are less reluctant to talk to strangers, and it’s difficult to form any kind of bond with so many rotating faces to talk to. Those of you that have attended large colleges know what I’m talking about; you’ll be sitting next to one person one day, and the next, said person will be clear across the auditorium. Not only that, but they are more likely to find someone that they already know and just talk to them.

In smaller classes, women are less likely to find someone that they already know, so they’re forced to talk to new people. Now that we are on women, let me tell you this: you are MUCH more likely to hook up with a perfect 10 here than you are in a bar for reasons that I mentioned in the previous post about why speed seduction sucks. One of the reasons why I never worry about finding a hot girl to date is because I know that I can find one by simply being her friend first by joining a social activity. It’s difficult to form solid friendships with strangers in bars, so I wouldn‘t rely on them to find a solid hot girl for dating.

Friendships Are Your Friend

Speaking of friendships, I don’t know why so many men dread being a woman’s friend. With a lot of the hot women that I’ve dated, we started out as friends first, and it usually worked to my benefit. Think about this: you have a hot girl sitting in a class, and along comes this funny, confident, good looking guy that wants nothing from you. Eventually, she’s going to grow attracted to you over time and want to date you. And if she doesn’t? That’s cool too. From my experience, when I don’t end up hooking up with the girl, they end up dragging me out to hook up with one of their friends. Why? Because they like me as a person.

The guy that made a comment on the previous post asked me when he should hit on the girl. My answer? He shouldn’t. Just focus on having fun, making her laugh, and just being an attractive guy. Trust me, if she likes you, she’ll let you know. All of the hot women that I’ve pulled via a social group initiated the heavy flirting or asked me out. If you’re the cool, confident, funny guy, these girls will always be latched onto you, even if it is just a friendship that you can later use to your advantage to hook up with other women.

What To Say?

What should you say to these women? Anything light an playful. I make it a point to tease any hot girl sitting next to me. One girl had a weird last name like Peifer or something, so I kept calling her Pepper. With another girl in a science lab, I kept doing these funny scientist impersonations with my goggles and lab coat. And with another girl who left her dog in the car while she was in class, I kept telling her that she was a bad pet owner and that I was going to call the humane society on her.

The point is to just have fun with it. The advantage of social groups is that you don’t always have to be funny. Speed seduction is difficult in that aspect. When you approach a girl in a bar, you have to be able to just turn the funny on, and that’s not how it really works. Humor is a pretty spontaneous thing with me, and when you’re in a social group, you can kind of let it out whenever the situation permits because you have plenty of time and you know that you‘ll see the girl again.

And guess what happens when you’re in a smaller group and other women see one girl always laughing at you? They also want to be around you. This is another reason why bars suck. Even if you are funny, with the loud music, so many people around, so much else going on, and so many places for other women to walk to, what are the chances that they’re going to notice one or two girls laughing at you? Slim to none. And chances are, even if they do, they won’t care because they’ll be with their friends or walking to a completely different area of the bar. That, and you’ll probably never see them again. In a social activity, if you’re fun/funny, people are going to know it, and they’ll be around on a recurring basis.

What About The Jocks?

It’s much easier to deal with jocks here rather than in a bar. In bars, these guys have an advantage because women are judging men within 30 seconds, and when you have the body of an Adonis, things are going to go in your favor. Not so during social activities. Social activities benefit guys who might not have the money or looks, but have a lot of personality. During social activities, women are judging men over a longer period of time, and what you’ll often find, is that these idiot jocks don’t have much personality and come off as quite boring to these women.

Another advantage that you can exploit over jocks and other men, is that they usually come to these events dressed like bums. Guess what happens when you come dressed as a fly guy? All eyes are on you, and you instantly become the coolest guy without saying one word. I can’t even begin to tell you how many meatheads tried to compete with me and just couldn’t do it because they weren’t as fly or funny as me. Every single time a meathead tried to compete with me over a girl in a social group, I got her.

Are There Any Other Benefits?

Like I said, it’s much easier to pull a 10 during a social activity than it is to pull a 10 in a bar. And at the very worse, you’ll make a lot of female friends that can introduce you to other women IF you’re a cool guy, so don’t use any of that pick-up stuff on these girls; just use casual humorous conversation. You can also use these girls as social proof should you decide to go pick-up women in bars, and in many cases, they’ll actually help you.

Overall, social game benefits you because it allows more room for you to be your natural self, get noticed easier, and let the women come to you. There are so many advantages like this that you can exploit if you simply use your head. An average guy with a personality has a real good shot at getting the girl that he wouldn’t have a realistic shot with at a bar.